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Am I Cool Yet: Coupla Stoner Kids Reportedly Hack CIA Head John Brennan's Email


#1

Am I Cool Yet: Coupla Stoner Kids Reportedly Hack CIA Head John Brennan's Email

The (likely red-faced) feds are investigating the gleeful claims of two 13-year-old potheads that they hacked CIA director John Brennan's personal email account - by resetting his AOL password with info they bamboozled out of Verizon - where he had, Hillarygate notwithstanding, stored sensitive government information. The kids posted an array of intelligence files, calls to Free Gaza and Free Palestine, and a warning to their clueless elders: "Step your game up homies - we own everything of you."


#2

Of the government, for the government, and hacked by the people.


#3

Please, Source, Goddess, whomever, whatever, keep them safe.


#4

Fire this idiot Brennan!


#6

"Would you please stop overthrowing the government and just go clean up your room?"

"Aw Mom!"


#9

From the CIA: “We are aware of the reports that have surfaced on social media and have referred the matter to the appropriate authorities.”

I really fear for these kids, to be arrested, tried as adults, and cast into some federal hellhole for decades. "The appropriate authorities" are deadly serious (especially deadly if you are African-American) and have no sense of humor (or humility) about having their weaknesses exposed. I hope these children do not end up like Chelsea Manning. I find it difficult to be so light-hearted about the exploits of children who exist in a system that eats souls and, with nary a thought, destroys lives. I hope I am wrong.


#10

We could save billions of $$$ by offering to raise the allowances of children and be better protected from cyber attacks at the same time. We could call these kids something like Junior CIA League of America and give them nifty superhero type costumes and cool handles to go by. Maybe even a few capes? Kids always like capes.

We need to protect our vital national security from ... from... sigh...the after school milk and cookies menace!!!

My gosh! What can we do about our utter inability to protect our country's vast intelligence network?

There is only one solution, drastic as it may be, such extremes are necessary when national security is at stake!

We will just have to tell their moms!


#12

Smiling.

p.s. We never trusted anyone over 30 either.


#13

They cannot try 13 year olds (American citizens) as adults and throw them into Guantanamo.

However (ahem) Obama claims that he does have the right to assassinate them using drones after going through process (not exactly due process by any means). It is advisable for the two to sit in the back of the classroom as far away as possible from the other kids to limit collateral damage from a possible drone strike. The school may be bombed once it is confirmed that it is being used as an enemy base by other junior high students or providing tactical and logistic assistance (like serving pizza in the cafeteria on Wednesdays) to the enemy and aid to those caught without a hall pass between classes.


#14

They can try children as adults and toss them into a super-max federal prison in Colorado or Kansas (Manning herself is imprisoned at Leavenworth, not Guantanamo, and there is a federal penitentiary in Leavenworth for civilians). Being a child is no protection against the savagery of "the authorities". So "ahems" aside, I fear for these kid's safety and for their future.


#15

This is not a violent crime like murder and only some states will try a child as an adult for murder and none that I know of that will do that to a 13 year old. They could be tried as a juvenile offender for a non violent crime but they would not go to a max security fed prison nor a military prison. Being a child is protection against the savagery of 'the authorities' and furthermore being in the public eye (which shows just how smart these two really are) is also a protection. They will have a great deal of public support behind their case. It will be interesting to see how the criminality aspect will be resolved (beyond probation).

You really have to admire these two idiots... and they say that Americans are all dumb. Well these two dopes were pretty intelligent... just dopey kids. I really do admire them. Thinking outside the box and they've also done our country a service as many hackers purposefully do of revealing an obvious vulnerability.

I recommend grounding them as a national security measure and garnesheeing their allowances. They should also be made to write on the board a 100 times. >>> I will not overthrow my government on a school night.


#16

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#17

The mistake is the belief that any cyber information can be made secure, it can't. Not to mention the hackers are always ahead of the game.


#18

These children have more sense than any of the Obama maladministration members or the "GOP" hopefuls for 2016.


#19

Now Somebody Cool needs to Hire these Two.


#20

Ha ha ha, I love it!


#21

Feels GOOD man!


#22

So what is the issue these patriots are trying to get front and center?


#23

Thank you, thank you, for the best laugh I've had in a good long while!!


#24

I would expect that this would not come under the jurisdiction of any state but of the federal government. Also, if a state can try and execute a 14 year old, then I'm sure age is no barrier to prosecution. There are examples of children not even teenagers who have been prosecuted as adults, including:
'Pennsylvania 10–year–old accused of killing 90–year–old misses his mom, finds adult jail scary: lawyer Tristen Kurilla, [age 10] of Damascus Township, has been held in the adult
facility ever since the October beating death of Helen Novak. He is one
of the youngest ever to face an adult homicide charge in Pennsylvania."
Daily News, December 11, 2014.

""A Wisconsin prosecutor says evidence of premeditation warrants charging
two girls, 12, as adults in a horrific stabbing case. Others say the
girls' fantastical motive, involving a fictional Slender Man, indicates
otherwise. Here's the trend in prosecuting juveniles as adults."
Christian Science Monitor, June 04, 2014.
http://www.vachss.com/help_text/tried_sentenced_as_adults.html