Thank you, Kay Davis, for this wonderfully enlightening account of your and your daughter's experiences! I hope to live long enough to read/hear her own account someday.
Yes, there are many here, there, and everywhere who deny this or that now obvious truth about who we and they are and are not. I have long enjoyed being both extroverted and introverted, and, before I realized I had notable strengths in both capacities. Long before discovering that was my gift, I long puzzled over certain reactions and patterns of reactions to some things I spontaneously said, or things I did. Although we now know that extroversion and introversion are not in any knowable form gender specific, long-held gender stereotypes and those embracing such stereotypes, especially about themselves, are easily or feel challenged, threatened, and even irritated by my joyful expressions, especially in social settings that welcome humor, such as teasing or toying with the gender edges of those silly stereotypes with my own behavior/speech.
I have even consciously and simultaneously/alternately done this teasing to the same person, both male and female, who thought they found me romantically attractive. I fell upon this by accident. The accident was such that I fumbled an awkward rejection of proffered romance one evening, and she burst out laughing at my awkwardness. I realised in the instant that fumbling can also be entertaining to some. This can be particularly entertaining in bars. As a man who has never doubted my gender/identity, I find it both sad and humorous that two other men will fight over my company; it doesn't seem to matter whether they are gay or hetero - it doesn't even matter if one is gay the other straight. Straight men believe I somehow possess some magical talent for attracting women. Around gay men I admit I do not understand why they sometimes find it difficult to accept that I have no romantic interest in them, though I routinely find many gay men particularly sensitive, intelligent, and spiritually healthy.
That scenario where two men find themselves competing and that competition growing in intensity can easily become volatile, with hostilities rapidly exploding, so I have learned that the first sign of rising voices is the exit moment. A little space sometimes settles my part of whatever is going on. And exiting any later exit is almost always much more challenging. No unfinished social moment is worth getting caught up in the clashing neuroses of others.
I pray for and wish you and your family all the very best in life. You are indeed blessed. Encourage your daughter to enjoy who she is, however she finds herself inclined to do so. Of course, life's precautions are always helpful, if only after we prove to ourselves they were healthy counsel all along. We all should be so blessed with a transgender family member, and may be, if we only find the space to welcome such blessings.