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Federal Investigation Finds Cat Litter Partial Cause of Radiation Leak


#1

Federal Investigation Finds Cat Litter Partial Cause of Radiation Leak

Sarah Lazare, staff writer

The U.S. Department of Energy says it has identified a key culprit behind a radiation leak last year at its underground nuclear dump in southeastern New Mexico: one of the drums contained "chemically incompatible contents," including the wrong kind of cat litter.


#2

I know some cat lovers here think I'm biased but you can't ignore the clear involvement of cats in this radiation leak.

It's due to 'kitty' litter, and not the kind intelligent people toss into rivers in bags. No, it's the kind that people put in their houses due to cats refusal to 'go' outside. Dogs go inside and get yelled at and swatted with rolled up papers. But cats? Oh, we're going to give you a special bathroom. You don't have to go outside in the rain and snow. No, we're going to have this special place just for you. And we'll take it outside when you're done so you don't have to get your dainty little paws dirty.

So where's the bias people? Who's actually giving these little nuclear terrorists preferential treatment, eh?

And now we find that somehow this all ends up in a nuclear waste problem.

Wise up! Cats are not your friends!


#3

I neither like nor dislike cats. But I respect them, in the same way I respect a rabid skunk or any wild animal. They pose strong potential dangers to humans. Two words: Toxoplasma gondii
Be well.


#4

What a relief!

I knew it couldn't be the nuke industry and their total lack of supervision of the underground Salt Caverns full of untrained Subcontractors storing nuke waste in unauthorized containers which are never vented on schedule as required and turn into bombs! Why, the fact that most of the bolts in the ceiling of this place are corroding away and the ceiling fell in on the drums, has nothing to do with it!

It's defective Kitty-Litter! Yeah, that's the ticket! Could happen to anybody!


#5

Cats are at least smart enough to know where to go poop and pee with no training whatsoever - there so none of this long rigorous conditioning procedure of "good dog!!!", "Bad dog!!!!", treats, an whacks on the muzzle to get them to to pee and poop where you want them too - specifically to hold it all in until you take them out on a walk.

And cats at least have the sense of hygiene to properly bury their poop and pee - as you should do to if you have to poop outdoors on a hike or whatnot.

And yes, cats are fine with pooping and peeing outside s long as their a patch of loose soil to bury it - but like dogs, letting a cat out to run loose is not a good thing for cat or owner.

Dogs are idiotic, loud, barking, smelly, annoying, obnoxious animals.


#6

Cats and their dirty bombs.


#7

No shock that honest talk about cats gets your back up.

You pretend cats bury their crap because of hygiene, but you and I both know that's not the real reason.

When dogs bury something, like a bone, it's because it's valuable and we want to keep it safe.

Unfortunately, it's the same with cats. They bury their treasures too.

Because cats are the ultimate narcissists.

It's why they're constantly licking themselves, day and night. They can't get enough of themselves. They preen. They seek the spot in the room where the light will hit them just right - and when they aren't in the spotlight, they move until they are.

Everybody licks themselves once in a while, but cats are their own obsession. They lick themselves no matter who's watching - because to them others are nothing more than an audience, there only to reflect the glory of the cat.

You can see this self-involved psychosis in the way they torture other animals. Hey, if a dog ever caught a squirrel, and it will happen any day now, you wouldn't see that dog batting the squirrel around, pretending to let it go, and then catching it again and again. No matter how much the little bastards deserve it, a dog would make a quick, clean kill.

But cats lacks empathy. They don't understand that others have feelings - or they don't care. A cat is a furry little sociopath who enjoys repeatedly giving trapped creatures a glimpse of freedom - and then snatching it away.

Birds, mice, gophers - all are nothing more than victims to a cute furry killer who sees them as nothing more than bloody little toys.

So don't pull that hygiene crap on me cat. We all know that you think it's more valuable than gold because it came from you. That's why you bury it.

All dogs go to heaven, but cats, cats go back to where they came from.


#8


#9

Aw, my cat says you are more to be pitied than censured, Dog (I know you are Dog, because you say "we" bury bones to keep them safe). You gave away your secret adoration of cats when you wrote, "They seek the spot in the room where the light will hit them just right." How do you know it's "just right"? Because it reveals their innate beauty, which you cannot deny. .


#10

The dog-lover Diogenes was a kook...and at any rate, it is cats that better ascribe to his philosophy of cynicism - but there were none in Greece at the time he was around.


#11

Okay, I laughed.


#12

YOU DON'T NEED TO STAY IN THRALL TO YOUR CAT!

Look, your cat is probably watching as you read this so go PHFFTTT or make some other sound of derision.

Cats have got you humans figured out. It's why they feign that adorable cuteness - well, that and they think they're adorably cute. The cat takeover of the internet is almost complete. It's difficult to view even the most innocuous subjects without having a picture of cats popping up. They're trying to take over again. "What? Again?", you say. Yes, again. Look what happened in Egypt. They worshipped cats, the civilization imploded.

Do you want that to happen here?!

Fight the brainwashing. Fight the memes. Stand together with your best friend and end the cat menace to all we hold dear!

Typical cat looking at sleeping 'owner':

Same cat when 'owner' is watching:


#13

Cats are apolitical, dogs are actors, are associated with great deeds and great people. Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, Snoopy, among others, and of course the most famous dog in American history--the memorialized Fala.


#14

#15

I don't know if you are serious or trying to be funny and aren't very good at it. I read in Natural History Magazine many years ago that cats do what they do to mice, and it's not playing, because the strength in a cat's jaw is insufficient to kill and eat the mouse until it reaches a certain lever of excitement/adrenaline. A search on this subject, just now, suggested adrenaline but indicated that the levels in the mouse during this time go down and the cat is waiting for this as well. To attribute human motivations, e.g., desire to cause suffering (torture) to an animal,I simply because we don't understand the reasons for their actions, seems misguided at best.
If I've misconstrued your intentions, I apologize but I have met people who seriously do believe everything you've said.


#16

All of these comments had me purring with laughter! Thank you.


#18

You apologists for the crimes of cats are disgusting.

Oh, the poor little dears have to torture mice because they can't finish them off until they get really, really excited.

That's like saying Hannibal Lecter has to eat people because he has a vitamin deficiency.

Cats are little demons released by Satan to prey upon an unsuspecting world.

Don't support Satan. Don't make excuses for cats!


#19

OY! lmkao!


#20

I dont agree that cats are the problem here. I have a cat and he is not achievement orientated, he's not an upstart trying to prove how clever he is.

I think it just shows that Nuclear waste abhors organic anything.

How do you know that civilization is in way over it's head?
Cat litter to solve nuclear waste problem.


#21

Sorry its insulting to cats to compare them to Democrats. Also Democrats are herded even better than republicans.