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Fighting Absurdity With Absurdity: Heaven Forbid the Penis


#1

Fighting Absurdity With Absurdity: Heaven Forbid the Penis

Arguing that carrying firearms on campus will be as effective against random gun violence as carrying dildos, thousands of students at the University of Texas at Austin protested the state's insane new open carry law Wednesday by gleefully hoisting "Armed With Reason" signs and over 4,500 donated dildos. The #CocksNotGlocks campaign, started by one alum as "defiant nonsense," struck a chord among many students weary of America’s lethal "love affair with guns."


#2

Abby, they're going to have to pry my cold dead hands off my dildo. I'll never give it up! Never! It's my RIGHT to clutch at my dildo whenever I feel threatened.


#3

This reminds me of this horribly made movie called Zardoz. "The gun is good, the penis is evil".


#4

Thank you for this, Abby! When most of the news is depressing, this bit is exhilarating. I would love to hear any follow-up on the reactions of the PTB, and, hopefully, the success of the movement.


#5

The dildos all look mutilated ("circumcised").

Perhaps they are more effective that way. Against random violence, at any rate.


#6

Thank you lots and lots. Great story. And the photos make it all even better.


#7

That's to emulate the "sawed-off" shotguns.


#8

And it's "alumnus", not "alum". Alum is aluminium sulphate. Please. But what could one expect from people who can't pronounce "aluminium" properly. Aloominum, for heaven's sake!


#9

"Here in Texas a Glock is too a Cock !!!" said the gun shy little boy.


#10

Random violence does not exist in a gunner's world only premature firing of your unlubed dildo.


#11

"Over the years it is my brain that has greatly tarnished the reputation of my cock." Says a resident in The Flower Bed Of Good And Evil.


#12

Oh I don't know about this. Some of the new models can bounce like scary crazy. Put an eye out or worse. That's sure to restart vengeful like lock and load talk. Somebody is bound to get hurt.


#13

Longhorns not Gun Porn...


#14

A Freudian response from Texas...How Nice...


#16

Fantastic! The best way to lock and load...with a dildo! Wahoo!


#17

Is a gun packing society more likely to have less wealth inequality?


#18

Same scare mongering went on when Texas first introduced concealed carry, there were supposed to be shootouts everywhere. The this year when Texas allowed open carry. There were supposed to be people waling around with guns on their hips. Never happened. But then again, there's nothing bad about kids having some fun with with dildi.


#19

now, if we could teach the cops to do that...