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How to Turn a Family Gathering Into a Laboratory for Political Healing


How to Turn a Family Gathering Into a Laboratory for Political Healing

Stephanie Van Hook

I don’t know what it’s like to have a family where everyone agrees politically. I did not grow up in an activist household where even if there were disagreements about the details there might be an overall consensus that injustice to anyone is something that we dedicate our lives to transforming.


Perhaps this has happened on CD before, but it is encouraging that of today's six views, 3 are written by women.

A comparison: of yesterday's (11/ 23/ 16) 14 Views, 3 are written by women.

Today is a milestone. Plaudits to CD for this gender parity, and may it continue. It is meaningful and significant.


More "luv" from Canada!!!!!

This jerk goes around leveling the MOST base and broad brush accusations.

I mean, have you ever met a Canadian like Don?

I sure haven't.


Check out my comments in defense of BLM , or my scores of comments calling out Trump for stoking racism for power you jerk.

Also, find ONE racist comment I have ever made, and prove your point jerk.

I mean, there are hundreds of post you can peruse to prove I'm a racist, you jerk.

Proving you are a jerk? That's easy.


No the onus is on you jerk, to prove your accusation to be true.

Clear my name with you? I couldn't give less than a flying cluck what YOU think of me.

But I will defend myself against your baseless attacks on my character.


Here's an alternative, Stephanie. I've encountered it twice. If someone fires an emotional blast at you, say "Wow, you sound angry. Let me be sure that I understand you". Then repeat what you think he or she said. The angry person might say "That's not what I said". Then you say " Well tell me again, because I really am interested in your opinion". You've reduced some of the tension already because you are showing respect. So when you have finally agreed on the grievance, then send the angry one an "I-message". That starts with a statement as to how you feel. I am angry, disappointed, pissed off, etc BECAUSE". First of all, you have said how you feel so that makes you feel better and the other person understands where you are coming from. In addition, that BECAUSE focuses attention on the issue, rather than the emotion of the original involved in the discussion and it sets the stage for problem solving. So then with regard to dealing with the issue, strive for a win-win solution, not a compromise. A compromise leaves both parties to the dispute unhappy. A win-win is the optimal.
Btw, I'm a male.


Seek only to illuminate the true concept of Duopoly that we all face, the rest must naturally follow.