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Suffer the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Children

Suffer the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Children

Christopher Brauchli

Amo, amas,
I love a lass,
As a cedar tall and slender;
Sweet cowslip’s grace,
Is her nominative case,
And she’s of the feminine gender!
— John O’Keefe, The Agreeable Surprise, (1783)

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The Pences claim to be Christians.

If they were transported to Ancient Rome, they would be the Christians cheering to see the lions fed. Humans.

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These rightwing nutjobs on the Supreme Court are not guilty only of intolerance, homophobia, hatred (fear?), narcissism, violation of their professed religion’s tenets, narrow-mindedness, insularity, elitism, lack of compassion, and total lack of vision as to the ramifications of their muted-vitriolic and self-serving rulings.

They are also guilty of willful and abysmal ignorance. I’m willing to bet that not one of them has read or otherwise been educated about the genetic and/or prenatal “causes” of transgenderism, intersexism, or the spectrum of sexual orientation. They don’t have a clue about the scientific fact that the vast majority of people with the above variations of sexual attributes, across the world since the beginning of human existence, have no choice about “what” they are.*

Awesome. I love the idea that the highest jurists, whose rulings affect all of the powerless us, in our country are not only semi-closeted fascists but also reprehensibly ignorant myopics. /s

How I wish Kristin Beck, “Princess Warrior,” a former Navy SEAL and her cohorts would confront Dump and all the ignoramuses serving the toxic rightwing hatred-ology.

*I wish I could afford to send them each a copy of biologist Bruce Bagemihl’s book Biological Exuberance, Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity, which shows and explains same-sex pairings and behaviors throughout the ENTIRE animal kingdom…includes insects, fish, birds, mammals… I guess God must have been stoned or psychotic during the times of His/Her creation of those animals… imagine His/Her regret and despair now!

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And they would snicker behind your back for NOT embracing the things you describe in your first paragraph.

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Yeah… I have no clue how to end this kind of societal cancer, short of major asteroid or nuclear holocaust, both of which would destroy innocent animals’ lives.

It’s a heavy sadness for me to accept that the struggles in the “good fight” will never end. Human decency is the Sisyphean boulder. I feel betrayed by my own decades-old idealism.

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They can’t take our decency. No matter how little it means to some.

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I don’t mean people like us. I’m referring to the collective whole across the world. We few pockets of decent humans with conscience and drive to strive for overall betterment are overpowered by the actors of evil, for lack of a better word right now.

Ok I am an atheist, but the last line, those not in touch with god will know. I’m sorry, but why can’t religious people also see how wrong it is to deny people full rights before the law.
I know a number of religious people who would accept everyone as equal. Many would. It is a minority stuck in the past that can’t get over the fact that we are all different. And that we have to be accepted for our differences.
The problem is that we let that minority rule over the rest of us. Not just religiously, but politically and economically. That is the real sin of it all. We allow their hate to reign supreme. And that is our sin. And it will remain ours until we have stopped this hate.

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Do you really think they care? I am not trying to be flippant, but to them, anything not like them is to be hated. It’s not just the LGBTQ community, it’s liberals, atheists, anyone who doesn’t stand with them.
And it’s not ignorance but hate, the fear of anyone different from themselves. They will never learn, never read, never try to understand. Ignorance can be overcome, you can learn what you don’t know. But this is willful, they don’t wish to understand, they don’t wish to learn.
I grew up with people who taught me hate. From the earliest moments of my life, hate and fear were part of me. The government taught hate against gays. The church taught hate against gays. My family taught me. It was so ingrained in me that if a gay just touched me, I would become gay.
It sounds stupid, but when your life is filled like that, with every person of authority saying the same thing, you believe. And I did. And with my first encounter I ran, ran so I wouldn’t become gay. Until I realized that it was all a lie. That I couldn’t become gay because some gay man touched me.
But how many people have such an epiphany when they have been taught to hate. How many people think, I mean really think about what they have been taught? Not that many.
That is what the Pences of the world have been taught, over and over how evil people who think and act differently from them are.
My family never gave up the hate that I ran away from. Those people had to be hated. There is no way to make them see, unless they are willing. Having them read, no matter how good the book will ever open their eyes. Eyes are closed for a reason. And it takes something powerful to open them.
I share your feelings, when I was 19 my eyes were opened. It took my grandmother until she was in her 70s to stop hating. And when I was a child she had told me Hitler didn’t kill enough people. That there were so many in the US to be killed. And that was 60 some yrs ago. It wasn’t until she was in her late 70s that she stopped preaching hate. That a black family moving in was fine, that my sister marrying a jew was ok, that my marrying an irish woman was ok. All the abuse, all the hatred was finally gone.
I fought against it all my life, cost me my family. And I had to walk away.

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That is the truth, we keep fighting and never surrender. What I believe in is all I have that is worthwhile.

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It is indeed about fear, plus a transactional view of the world in which there isn’t enough of anything for everyone, and another’s gain always means my loss. The Christianisticist view starts with original sin and substitutionary atonement, which Fr. RCath Richard Rohr observes (this morning e-mail from Center for Action and Contemplation) makes everything but the last three minutes of Jesus’ life irrelevant. Thank God (relationships, not some externalized being out somewhere else) for the possibility of transformation.

I was pretty much indifferent to the presence and needs of LGBTQI folk until their claims became an issue in my church (Presby USA). Even then, it took hearing a lesbian minister talk about her own transformation and the support of her then husband and sons for me to realize how much it mattered to open myself to a transformation of the heart. Since then (after my Mother’s death, but with her explicit blessing) my Dad enjoyed the last 14 years of his life with a male partner and my elder child has come out as nonbinary trans, with a partner of the same gender. They’re looking forward to getting their birth certificate changed this month. My own Grandmother (paternal) thank God, is long past the opportunity to spray her fearfulness all over us.

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Skip, I’m sorry for what you went through. The people whom I respect the most are those who have had to overcome the closed, hateful programming in their childhoods. It takes a lot of courage, smarts, and compassion to go deep into that introspection and questioning or challenging of inculcated values & beliefs. It’s a difficult journey.

I was incredibly lucky to be brought up by parents who didn’t do that toxic programming of us siblings. I questioned some things but ultimately came to feel no dissonance with their programming and my values…and how I could travel thru life. My main exception to any of that is something I already referred to on this thread: I thought “the good fight” would be over someday and we could “rest.” Somehow, Dad imbued me with a quixotic hope.

Please see my response to Skip.

I often think of myself as Don tilting at windmills. The impossible dream is one of my favorite songs.
I am just glad I decided to think for myself, it made me question religion and what was taught. I always had this streak of questioning everything. My grandmother hated when I kept asking her why when she was trying to talk me into hating those she hated. She insisted that I had to understand that I just needed to believe her views and not question them.
Long ago I decided that if people didn’t accept me for who and what I am, then it was their loss. My friends will tell you that I am the weirdest person they know. My sense of humor can be wacky. I have always been different, a bit odd.
But you know when I tried to fit in, I couldn’t. It was only when I decided to be myself that I fit in.

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I always had trouble with the christian view that we are born into sin. I could never accept that. Just one of the reasons why I became an atheist.
And yeah that whole thing about someone has to lose in order to win. I prefer win/win. That way both are happy. I may have to compromise, but if we both get something, then we are both winners.
After my experience, I did start thinking about gays. Also at that time during the late 60s civil rights was a big issue, along with women’s rights. And the war of course. It was a thinking time for me and I really became aware that I wasn’t the only one suffering.
One thing I always had in mind. If I wanted my rights and equality to be accepted (which as a white straight male I was assured of), then the rights of others had to be accepted also. For there could come a time when my rights could be denied and even if that was unlikely, I knew that I would be angry if I lost them.
I guess I was always a supporter of the underdog. I was into the environment and what was happening, became an early proponent of global warming, saw first hand how the environment could be destroyed. Social justice became something I believed in at the end of the 60s’. And all because I had a gay man throw a pass at me which scared me so I ran. Kind of funny how an small event can change your life so much. I wish I could have thanked him for making me open my eyes.

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The Impossible Dream…my dad’s very favorite, too. Music boxes and all! Man of La Mancha is a family favorite. My mom even got bed sheets with the Picasso Quixote as the design!

It’s really nice to hear your story, Skip. Thanks for sharing all of that. Again, I was lucky. My parents were on the right side of issues! And they did teach us to question…everything. Once, as a teenager, I pushed an issue too hard with my dad, and even though he didn’t believe in corporal punishment, he raised his arm to slap me. He stopped his hand midway and said, “I won’t hit you if you promise to give people the same fighting guff you gave me.” Nuff said…

(I dunno where that dumb piece of cake came from. Will try to get rid of it tomorrow.)

I have to say while my parents were abusive, it was never physical against me. When I was about 5 my mother said wait until your father got home. He was the one who had to administer the punishment. So he took me out to the back yard and put me across his knee. After the 1st spank he was crying. And he said never again. He knew what his father had done to his brothers.
My abuse was watching my mother’s sister being abuse often. Just like my father had watched his brothers, I had to watch. The family dynamics were that my abusive alcoholic grandfather doted on my aunt because she was mentally impaired. Of course that meant the abuse fell on my mother and grandmother.
After he died, they were free to abuse her and my father with all that rage pent up joined in. I’m not sure exactly how old I was, maybe about 7 when I started fighting with my parents to stop the abuse. My brother of 3 yrs younger would stand behind me and encourage me to stand my ground.
So life was a constant battle of listening to my aunt (who also took care of me because my mother and grandmother worked) and arguing with my parents on a weekly basis. That abuse and my fighting against it made me the black sheep of the family. My parents accused me of trying to steal the family fortune and my brother and sister turned against me. My brother told me I must have done something to anger our parents, but didn’t want to know what.
The lie was good enough, Neither wanted to know that by then my mother was physically abusing our aunt. Even her mother was aghast by that and turned against my parents. My parents wanted an end to my grandmother complaining, so I was supposed to tell my grandmother to shut up, like a good little boy.
Problem is that I decided to pull my aunt and grandmother out of the house. When my grandmother died, my parents staged a how horrible our oldest son is right after the funeral in front of all our relatives. I was stealing my grandmothers estate they claimed. And it was how could you.
Sorry it hurts to this day how my parents purposely set out to hurt me. And when I tried to make peace, they told me that I hadn’t been hurt enough. And that was the last I spoke to them.
Fortunately most people don’t have parents like mine. Glad you didn’t. Still have a lot of pent up anger obviously and it was decades ago. Over 30 yrs.
I learned and earned my stubbornness the hard way, decades of fighting. My last review when I retire was given by a person who had known me all the years I worked. She had two paragraphs. The 1st was I was the most stubborn person she ever knew and that in over 20 yrs of trying to change me to fit in their system, no matter what they did, no matter how hard they tried, they failed. I did things my way. I can attest to how stubborn I am. If I think I am right, I don’t step aside.
But if I hadn’t been so stubborn, the 2nd paragraph wouldn’t have been true. I was the best resident advocate they ever had. I fought for those people no matter who stood in the way.
And now I am tired and worn out, for over 60 yrs I fought. Someone else will have to fight. It’s not easy to never see some good come from the fighting. To see all the old things I fought for in the 60s come back to still be around to hurt people. I have to put my faith in the young. It’s their turn now. I hope they win this time and they don’t have to see it all come back.
Otherwise we are truly lost.