It’s not easy to describe what it has been like to be a Black mother during the months between when Darren Wilson shot and killed Michael Brown and now, just after a grand jury decided not to indict him. There’s a certain horrible routine you go through after you hear that a police officer has shot a Black youth. You check on your kids first. Even if the shooting wasn’t in your city, there’s still a moment where you need to be sure that they are okay. Then, the waiting starts: Who was the child?