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We Are Still Alive (Non-Terrorism Edition)


#1

We Are Still Alive (Non-Terrorism Edition)

Peter Van Buren

I survived. America, and the world, and you, survived. We awoke the first day of 2016 to find that once again, using the extraordinary power of fear, we defeated the terrorists.

Hard as it is to persuade a constantly re-frightened American public, there have been only 38 Americans killed inside the Homeland by so-called Islamic terrorism since 9/11.


#2

"Buh, buh, but the tewwowists is swimmin' 'cross the Rio Grande wid nuker bombs on their backs."*

*Along with nuclear blast-proof passports in their pockets.


#3

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#4

So in15 years:
* 38 people died from terrorism (defined as someone with a beard and ordered from abroad).
* ~15,000 died in the hands of police.
* Anyone knows the number of mass shooting victims? Which we don't call terrorism.


#5

Annual traffic deaths and deaths from gun violence are roughly the same at about 30,000 each-both perfectly acceptable.


#6

"CNN on the Eve told us that over one million people were in Times Square to see in the New Year, along with 6,000 cops."

Most of those cops no doubt received over-time pay. One can only imagine the cost... and it's the same kind of cost-waste that sees so many funds dedicated to militarism instead of developing the kind of (national) security that lasts and means something in the way of improving or safeguarding actual citizens' lives.

All this focus on a now global version of cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, "good" guys and "bad" guys are fantasies that are cannibalizing far too much of our collective (financial and other) assets just when those assets are so sorely needed to prepare for major, massive climate chaos.

What a profound loss of sanity, leadership, and vision!


#7

Acceptable to whom?


#8

We have to raise The Alphabet's budgets, obviously. The price for a panhandling jihadist has gone up at least to $75 bucks, a cot and a hot meal. Maybe, with OhBummer growing the economy so much, the hyper-inflation will kick in and the long expected COLA adjustment will give all the Fed employees a big raise. And, by extension, give The Alphabets and Homeland Security some more cash that they can't seem to find, when the word " audit " is mentioned. Oh wait, we can't find the Congressional paperwork mandating that audit, anymore. Which means we can't do anything or release even any preliminary findings. Maybe hiring more cleaning ladies to unclutter all those obviously cluttered desks at the DoD, NSA, CIA and DIA will get the ball rolling. But, OhBummer gave those people a big, fat raise to $10.10 an hour, so that's a budget buster, for sure, for sure. Let's cut food stamps and SSI disability benefits to make up the difference, OK? Well, freedom isn't ever really free, then. The shared sacrifices have really got me scared, going forward, into the brave new world of 2016. :sunglasses:


#9

Two years ago, it was over 360,000 gun deaths in the US.

http://www.alternet.org/civil-liberties/us-death-toll-firearms-suggests-america-country-gripped-civil-war


#10

How many people were killed by their toddlers shooting them in the last few days? without FBI inciting, probably several.
The nonsense of "terror plots" compared with "normal" US lives, outdoes any fantasy.


#12

It was 360,000 deaths over a 12 year period.... in other words about 30,000 a year.


#13

Well, not to me-obviously. But our society as a whole seems to regard both as "normal"-just privileges of living in this "exceptional" country.


#14

So, terrorists were responsible for 38 deaths since 9-11. As tragic as it was, it pales in comparison to a far greater threat to the American way of life... lightning! Since 2006 alone, more than 300 Americans have died (http://www.lightningsafety.noaa.gov/fatalities.shtml) from this unsilent killer.
Because lightning kills more than ten times as many Americans a year as terrorism does, I suggest a Constitutional Amendment in which the government will match $10 for each dollar spent on the military.. to keep us safe of course! I would use this money for "preventative-lightning-deaths" (PLD) in following way.
First of all almost all lightning deaths occur outside, therefore I would use some of those billions we have diverted from the War on Terror to the War on Lightning by providing housing for every single American out there. No one should be homeless when this evil act of God strikes us! Secondly I would use those same former military funds to provide free health insurance for every American in the U.S. so that when lightning hits, it won't be as dangerous as trying to collect from your local for-profit health provider.
The third thing I would do is reduce global warming as more lightning will hit American soil as our planet continues to heat up. Therefore I would begin an immediate phasing out of all fossil fuels in the next ten years.. or else we will let the 'weather terrorists' win! (i.e. Exxon, BP, Shell, etc.)
The fourth phase of this multi-pronged attack to protect Americans at all costs at this gravest threat to our Homeland since World War 2, would be to raise minimum wage to at least $15 an hour across the board. This will enable average citizens to earn enough money so that they can take a bus to go shopping instead of walking out there in the open exposing themselves to a lightning attack at any moment!
The fifth stage is very crucial as well. We must tax the 1% to the tune of at least 90% of their earnings as the uber rich are particularly vulnerable to lightning due to their increased exposure to sudden shifts in the weather on the golf courses. Once the uber rich can no longer afford to play golf incessantly, we will decrease significantly the amount of weather terrorist related deaths immediately. Because we don't want the 1% to suffer from nothing to do, I would provide free chess sets to all those earning at least 1 million dollars a year or more.
Finally I would reduce police forces from around the country to a tenth of their current numbers. Why should we endanger these brave individuals who must go 'out in the open' each day to hunt down minorities for target practice at which time they could be struck by lightning with no warning at all?
Universal healthcare and housing, raising the minimum wage, not putting police in harms way and of course ending the fossil fuel age is a small price to pay in the war against weather terrorists! Mr. President and Congress... are you with us or against us?


#16

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#17

"all Google and no game"
Love that. I am going to steal that for future use!


#18

6000 police in Times Square, and no-one got killed. I congratulate the NYPD for their restraint.


#19

I understand half were suicides. 180 000 USAians commiting suicide in a 12-year ear period seems rather significant.


#20

In the last seven years, the number of Americans moving into poverty has doubled.
Half of Americans have no savings, no money. How are they to pay for a medical or
dental emergency? Now, that's real terrorism !!


#24

Your irony detector is a little off.